In the mid-’90s, I was a general manager for a hotel company. After proving myself for a couple of years, I started hearing about the Fishing Trip.
Every year, the company’s top leaders invited a select group of general managers on an exclusive trip. It wasn’t just a weekend getaway; it was the event. The kind of off-the-books networking that we all know helps careers move forward.
There was just one problem: only men were invited.
At first, I tried to ignore it. But it wasn’t strictly kept quiet. My boss—who knew I had voiced my concerns about the all-male invitation list—would bring it up on purpose. I think he thought he was being funny.
Then came the year that broke me.
I discovered that Bruce—a general manager known by everyone for his drinking and lack of respect from his team—was invited.
That was the last straw.
The next time my boss mocked me about the trip, I looked him in the eye and said, “Please never bring up the Fishing Trip to me again. I can’t believe you’re taking Bruce.”
Until then, I had tried to justify it. The men who had been invited in previous years were all respected leaders. They had produced strong results. They were people I considered my equals. But Bruce? Bruce’s invitation proved that this wasn’t about performance.
If anyone was wondering whether women general managers performed as well as men, let me put that to rest. Within a year of Bruce’s trip, I was named General Manager of the Year for the Wyndham Garden Hotels division. I was in a group of general managers who met their EBITDA goals. My hotel drove strong financial performance, had high occupancy, and delivered outstanding employee and customer satisfaction.
And yet, I still wouldn’t have been invited.
Don’t get me wrong—I wasn’t dying to sit in a freezing-cold boat in Canada, drinking beer, smoking cigars, and fishing. But that’s not the point.
The point is that it was an event that gave men access to leadership, while women didn’t have the same opportunities.
And here’s the thing—when you don’t have the same access, you don’t have the same visibility. When you don’t have the same visibility, you don’t have the same career trajectory.
It’s easy to dismiss this kind of thing as “just a fun trip” or “boys being boys.” But for those of us on the outside looking in, we knew exactly what it meant.
This is why I care so deeply about helping women navigate leadership today. We’ve come a long way—women and open-minded men have worked to get us seats at the table and close gaps in opportunity and salary. But if we’re not careful, those gaps can widen again.
So, to the women reading this:
- If you’ve ever been excluded from opportunities that help men move forward…
- If you’ve ever watched a Bruce get a seat you deserved…
- If you know you can do more but don’t always get access…
You’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it out alone.
This is why I do what I do.
