The importance of listening versus talking is a topic that continues to be debated. Some people believe listening is more important than talking, while others believe the two are equally important. What do you think? I will attempt to make the case that listening is more important than talking and that we should strive to listen 80% of the time and talk 20% of the time.
There are many reasons why listening is more important than talking. Listening allows us to do the following:
- Learn more about the other person. When we listen, we hear their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Doing so can help us to understand them better and to build stronger relationships.
- Build trust. When we listen, we demonstrate that we care about what the other person has to say, creating a sense of trust and rapport.
- Resolve conflict. When we listen to someone who is upset, we are able to understand their perspective and work toward a solution. This can help to prevent conflict from escalating.
Of course, there are also times when it is important to talk. For example, we need to speak in order to share our thoughts and feelings, give advice, and solve problems. However, I believe we should strive to listen more than we talk. We can learn more, build trust, and resolve conflict by listening. These are all essential benefits that can help us to improve our relationships and to live happier lives.
When practicing communication skills, I often use them with my family. Unfortunately, listening skills did not come easily for me. I spent the better part of three decades working in hotels. As a General Manager, I was a fixer of problems. As a result, I would default to more talking than listening to resolve issues as quickly as possible.
My mother had come over to get some help with her computer. After we finished, we sat and started chatting. I bit my tongue, let my mom do most of the talking, and practiced my listening skills. She mainly was complaining about a couple of people we both knew. I asked open-ended questions and strived to empathize with her. Eventually, she said, “I’m going to leave since you have nothing to contribute to this conversation.” I wasn’t quite sure where the line was between enough listening and too much listening, but I knew I had crossed it. . I concluded that 100% listening and zero talking are not required.
Here are five tips for listening more and talking less:
- Make eye contact with the person who is speaking
- Don’t interrupt
- Pay attention to body language and tone of voice
- Ask questions to show that you are listening
- Summarize what the person has said to make sure you understand
Listening is not easy. It is a skill that requires practice. But if we make an effort to listen more and talk less, we can reap the many benefits that come with it.
Are you willing to give listening more a try? Who will you practice your listening skills on?
